Sometimes I feel like Alice in Wonderland, I keep going through all of these doors and they get smaller and smaller, my life gets more and more defined, and I never really know where the doors, or my life, is leading.
Usually this feeling is not a good thing for me. I don't like to feel discontent, and I certainly don't like to feel like one door is not leading to another.
When I am feeling this way, Tim usually says, "Just do what you are doing now with all you have in you and God will open another door." Sometimes that makes sense. Other times I want to say, "Really? Really? That will help me feel content? That will make my job seem worthwhile? That will help me to understand what God has planned for me? When I am supposed to have children? And how long we are supposed to be living in DC, handing out the cleaning room key to interns?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Reality is a sliding door." Sometimes that is much easier for me to comprehend. It feels safe...things are always changing and that is ok.
I don't know why I am so intrigued by doors, but they always seem to catch my eye. Is it what lies behind them? Is it the architecture? Is it that Christ walked through one?
I remember my favorite door. It is in Italy, along the way from the five fisherman villages they call Cinque Terre, in the northwest of Italy.
As you walk the hills from each village to the next on small paths, you are surrounded by vineyard on either side. The hills crash into the sea as you make your way on the hillside to Monterosso, Vernazza, Manarola, Riomaggiore, and Corniglia.
If you walk slightly off the path on your way to one of these towns, you will find a door built into the slope of the hill. It is small, painted blue, covered with greens, and surrounded by stone. I am not sure what purpose it serves, but it is a door nonetheless, and therefore it leads somewhere.
No comments:
Post a Comment