As of today I am swearing off all baby books. All they do is drive me crazy.
It all started reading about how Ian should be advancing each week. "By eight weeks your child should be able to lock eyes with you", and "by 10 weeks your child should be able to grasp an object dangled in front of him." I about died when Ian couldn't do either by week 11. What is wrong with our baby? Was it the tuna I ate while I was pregnant? It was the tuna wasn't it? Too much mercury.
I started to lose it. Just ask Tim.
At one point Ian couldn't follow a moving object in front of him so Tim put him on the fridge as punishment.
Ian didn't get the severity of his lack of visual advancement.
Trying to put Ian on a nighttime schedule was even worse. Every book I read told be that by eight weeks my baby should be sleeping 8 hours through the night and that he should be putting himself to sleep. Well Ian doesn't fall asleep until close to 11pm and only after being fed frequently for two hours and then rocked and ricked to sleep. This just wasn't working for our schedule. So, I did what these books said. I tried putting him in his crib every two hours; did the whole eat, activity, sleep thing; walked; cajoled; nursed; tried several days of bath, bottle, book, bed...until now. Seriously, if I don't burn these books I may lose it.
And so I put away the books, purposely left a coffee ring on one of them, and did a mental pro/con list.
And I'll tell you what I found, Ian IS a great baby. He just doesn't thrive on routine. He is totally go with the flow. He will nap just about anywhere. He has a beautiful smile. He is so even-keeled (unlike his mother) and good-natured. He will lay on his back and play by himself so I can drink my coffee and blog.
And he IS advancing, just not exactly as the books say. He can lift his head while on his stomach and hold his head steady when sitting up. His legs are strong and he can lift himself up when someone is holding his hands. He loves walks and getting licked by Pippin. He has a great mullet and his back hair finally fell out (thank the Lord because I was getting ready to schedule him a waxing). He likes the church nursery and barely ever cries unless he is tired.
So, the dark side is behind me. I have turned over a new leaf. No more books.
3 comments:
Good job on getting rid of those books! I went through the same things--a bit later on with Aubrey because I was sooo worried about her not being mobile. My reading led me to be sure that somehow she had been injured during delivery and now couldn't crawl. Well, she just wanted to do things on her own schedule and now she is running around at 14 months--totally normal. I think that with the glut of information that we have we forget that what the books say is an average of the HUGE range there is in our little ones. Trust your mommy instincts. If they say he is doing fine, then he most likely is!
Ian is wonderfully on schedule for Ian. Not to worry. You are doing what is right for Ian and you and Tim. I'm glad you put away the books, you'll feel better about it in no time.
Love you all so much. xoxoxox Aunt Jodi
Oh, Liz,
You are one great mom and learned a good lesson early. Be careful what you read. Those standardized lists are one way to drive a great mom with an adorable son crazy.
Love,
Patty
P.S. Matthew never matched up with those lists. He turned out pretty well!!
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